Faith and Prayer

I think my sister passing away has been especially difficult because she leaves behind such a young family. I love my sister. I will miss her more than I can say. But our lives were relatively separate. I am not going to have to make a huge life adjustment because she is gone. Yes, we called each other often and laughed and joked and had sisterly conversations and bonded. There is nothing like having a sister to talk to. You just talk to your sister and confide in your sister in a different way than anyone else in the world. Consider yourself lucky if you have one, or more than one! But I wasn't her spouse. And I am not her children. It is Michael and Abby and Lily who are going to miss her most and who have to make the biggest adjustment.

So in addition to my grief over the loss of my sister I have added worry and concern over the well-being of my brother-in-law and my nieces. Not only is my heart breaking for my loss but also for my brother-in-law's loss. I can't even imagine what he is going through. My nieces don't even know what is going on really. I want to hug the three year old and hold her and tell her I love her and that I will always be here for her, but she doesn't really want to be hugged and held. She just wants to play. She doesn't really understand what "Mommy went to live with Jesus and Grandpa Van Gesen" means. What will it be like for her, growing up without her mom? *sigh* I think that is the saddest part of this whole thing for me. My darling nieces. Without their momma to protect them and raise them. Because children need protecting.

So what I can do is pray for them and have faith in a perfect God who has a perfect plan for their lives. I have to believe they will turn out okay. I have to believe they are strong spirits who can navigate through the rough and tumble of the world without their mom. I have to believe that there are other wonderful women out there who live close to them who can help guide and direct them. I can call them. I can send them care packages. That, coupled with prayer, is about all I can do for my sweet nieces and brother-in-law who live 2000 miles away. 

In my heart of hearts I hope that my brother-in-law can find himself another wonderful woman to be his life partner for the remainder of his life and help him raise those sweet babies. I hope (whoever she is) that she can love those girls like her own. I hope that she can love our family like her own. I hope and pray for this woman every night in my prayers. Maybe you could pray for her too.