A Mile in Their Shoes

We've all heard the old adage "Don't judge someone until you've walked a mile in their shoes." Mostly I've tried to live by that my whole life. My mom is one of the least judgmental people I've ever met. She has this remarkable ability to love people and just let them be what they are while still maintaining her own position on many issues both moral, social, and political. My entire life I would watch her from a distance just listen to people and give nieces and nephews "The Aunt Paula Talk." It was remarkable. I still don't know quite how she does it. It's like she can just channel God's love for everyone from Him through her to them no matter how they choose to live. Anyway. I've tried to be like that-- I have a long way to go but I like to think I do okay most of the time.

It's 2:30 AM. I'm so tired and I just want to sleep but I can't. I took a sleep aid hours ago to see if it would help. It didn't. My anxiety is through the roof right now (not sure why-- but I know the thought of chasing after a toddler on no sleep tomorrow is part of it) and my lower back is killing me. It doesn't matter if I am sitting, standing, or lying down. It is simply too painful to sleep through tonight even with tylenol. My husband and I don't sleep in the same bed right now (which is incredibly disheartening and depressing to me) because for the last few weeks I've been waking up 4, 5, 6 times a night just to turn over and then I can't get back to sleep because he is congested and snoring from seasonal allergies. So he sleeps in the spare room to try to help me out.

I'm exhausted. I'm anxious and depressed. I don't feel good. I sat up in bed after lying there for 3 hours and just started to cry and I said out loud "I just don't want to be pregnant anymore. I don't like this." And if felt good to say it out loud. It felt good to admit it. Because here is the thing-- I felt/feel guilty for feeling this way. Here is why:

It took me several years to get pregnant the first time. Watching everyone around me have children during my childless years was hard. It was embarrassing and difficult for me to sit through labor stories. I really did not like to hear anyone complain about being pregnant or having children. I would think, "I would go through all that and more if I could be a mom. You just don't know how hard it is NOT to have kids. If you did, you wouldn't be complaining." And you know what? They probably didn't. I usually politely excused myself when conversations like that came up.

But guess who didn't understand how incredibly difficult being pregnant and having kids is? That's right-- me. My first pregnancy was a breeze. Minor back pain was all the suffering I had and I relished it because I knew I was going to be a mom. This pregnancy has been SO different: morning sickness, serious back pain, insomnia. In a word it has been hard. And tonight I just don't want to do it anymore.

I DO know how difficult it is not to have children. I now know how difficult it is to be pregnant and a parent at the same time. I wrongfully judged many women who complained about their difficult pregnancies and childrearing. I had not walked a mile in their shoes. But now I've walked more than a mile. WAY more. And I'm sorry for the judgmental thoughts I had. And I am thankful and incredibly amazed by my wonderful friends who held off talking about parenting and difficult pregnancies when they knew how difficult the subject was for me. They were incredible. I don't know how they did it. I love them for it (you know who you are). Thank you.

That old adage has never felt truer than it has tonight. If you're struggling with infertility I feel for you. It is SO hard. If you're struggling with pregnancy and young children I feel for you. It is also incredibly difficult in a completely different way. Let's all embrace one another wherever we are in our life's journey and buoy each other up no matter what difficult circumstances we find ourselves in-- because you truly can't judge a person until you've walked a mile in their shoes.

"I find your lack of faith disturbing."

Happy Halloween! We actually dressed up this. I pretty much felt like the lamest mom ever last year when I hadn't gotten a costume for Austin and it was the day before Halloween. He ended up going as a skeleton because we had a onesie with skeleton bones on it that someone had given us. He rocked it and looked awesome but I felt kind of like a slacker.

So this year we ALL dressed up. I planned way ahead and had everyone's costumes ready 3 weeks early. Mark and I have never dressed up as a married couple. It just wasn't our thing. But we sure had a good time this year!

I went as the Death Star-- not yet fully operational :) Mark went as a Stormtrooper and Austin went as Darth Vadar. He had the cutest little cape and hat! The cape was my favorite part. He didn't leave the hat on, unfortunately. But he still looked super cute!

May the force be with you!

It's a baby...

BOY!

Here I am about 21 weeks along carrying our next son. We couldn't be more excited for Austin to have a brother. We hope they become the best of friends. 

Where We've Been

It's been a long time since I wrote anything on this blog. It has lain abandoned for nearly a month and a half. We've sure done a lot of things and I sure love spending time with Mark and Austin. That is mainly what has kept me away. But tonight I have some time so here is a brief update.

We moved. The lease on our hold house was up after three years (thankfully) and our friends moved out of their old place (sadly) at the same time. We just took up residence in their old digs. We love our new place.

Mark has had a lot of free time these last few months so we've done a lot of little trips around town.

We went to the BYU vs. Virginia game. We lost. And Austin got really sick. But it was fun to be at a real game!

We went on a road trip. Hopefully I'll get around to writing a whole blog post about that! It was an incredible four days. We had a great time.

We taught Austin to say "TOUCHDOWN!" and hold up his hands. He also does false start which is pretty much just waving his hands really fast. He can't really do the whole spin thing.

We went to the Winston Salem Air Show. It rained so it was kind of lame. Most of the planes couldn't fly. But we had a good time anyway.

Mark ran in a sprint triathlon! He was such a champ. I'm really proud of all the hard work he put in. It was fun to see him transitioning and then sprint across the finish line. Way to go, sweetheart!

Austin got croup :( It was so sad to see him in his little hospital gown but he sure looked cute too! I loved his little diapered bum sticking out the back of the robes.

Mom and Dad Bailey came for a visit. We had a wonderful time with them here.

We went pumpkin picking for the first time. Austin had a great experience. Some of the pumpkins were bigger than he was!

We took an afternoon drive to the Blue Ridge Parkway to see the fall colors. Our camera could do it justice if we knew how to operate it better, but alas-- we don't. It was absolutely beautiful though.

Things in North Carolina are going well. We love it here. We've been so happy together as a little family.  It has been wonderful having Mark around so much. Life really doesn't get any better.

An answered prayer

I have been reading a lot, probably too much, facebook lately. I joined a group out of curiosity called Feminist Mormon Housewives. There are lots of nice women who post things. But there are some pretty self-righteous and mean posts too. There is a big movement right now about Ordaining Women in the church. I find it fascinating. But mostly the group has been posting things about how women are so ill treated and how tired they are of patriarchy and how it isn't right that women are told how to dress and what to think by the media and by men. And sometimes I wonder if they realize how much they are like the things they say they hate. They too try to tell women how to think and how to live their lives and what is right and what is wrong. Anyway.

Reading it has left me feeling uninspired, dejected, and confused. I am pretty satisfied with my life. I have never had a crappy bishop or other male leader who has made me feel like less of a person or like my opinion mattered less in the church because I am a woman. Most of those women either have had experiences like that or they read too much into situations they have experienced.

I don't think they are wicked or apostate or anything like that. I think they are just strong personalities who want a bigger voice in the church governance and priesthood power. And that is okay with me. But I don't always like the way they respond to traditional viewpoints. They get all upset when others respond to their viewpoints with vitreous gut reactions but they totally do the same thing!

Anyway. I have just felt confused and upset lately. I don't know who is right. Are they right to request the things they are asking for? Are the more traditional people right? What about the whole "Even the very elect will be deceived?" thing that is supposed to happen in these last days? Are they feminist groups being deceived? Are the traditional groups being lulled into a false sense of security? Who is right? And how will I know?

I thought those very thoughts last night and as I thought them I realized that Joseph Smith had that very same thought when he was young. He must have been as confused or more confused than I am.

So last night right before bed I said a quick prayer because I was pretty tired. I just told God I was confused and that I didn't know what to do or who was right. I pondered getting of facebook but that didn't seem right or necessary. I have thought a lot about posting some of my thoughts and feelings on the site but that didn't seem right either. So I just went to bed confused and thinking I would just let it go for now.

And my prayer was answered today. Isn't that interesting? It was a quick prayer. I didn't spend long in prayer. It was sincere and heartfelt, but didn't seem particularly more important than my other nightly prayers. But I think Heavenly Father felt differently. I think he knows that this is an important question. This is an important issue for me and he wanted me to know he heard my little prayer.

The answer came through a talk I heard at church. I didn't think too much about it other than that I really liked it. Then when I was reading my scriptures tonight in Deuteronomy 6 what was talked about in church was reemphasized and I felt then a gentle thought that this was the answer I was looking for.

The answer was this: The greatest of all commandments is love. And if you truly love everyone and love God you will be on the right path doing the right things. You won't be stealing, or murdering, or looking at pornography, or committing adultery, or worshipping idols, or treating people badly, or judging them unrighteously while you have a beam in your own eye, etc...  God's answer to me was simply to work on loving Him and Others and as I do I will be doing the right things and I don't need to worry about who is right and who is wrong. As long as I love God and others I will not be deceived. Maybe those women who are pressing for the priesthood and other feminist agendas have a special calling by God that I don't have. So I am going to let them have their calling and love them and their traditional counterparts from afar and just not worry about it. Because God answered my prayer and it is simply to love others and love Him.

Isn't that neat? How God answered my prayers so simply through another person and through the scriptures. I just wanted to write it down so I wouldn't forget it.

Why Dating is Important

Dating is important. It is important when you are looking for that special someone. It is important to do after you have found that special someone and gotten married. It is especially important once the children come along.

Mark and I went on the most fabulous date last night. But let me first say that getting on the date was quite the adventure. Mark put Austin in his PJ's then went to get dressed. I was in the bathroom finishing getting ready. I looked over at Austin and he seemed to be fine. I looked over again a few minutes later when he was pulling on my pants and realized he had blood all over his onesie and leg. He didn't notice the blood. He wasn't crying. He just wanted attention.

So I called Mark in and we found the blood. It was pouring out of his finger. He had cut it on a misplaced razor cartridge that was somehow in his reach. So we put him in the bathtub to make sure the blood doesn't get on the white carpet. Who puts white carpet in a rental?! We smash his finger between ours to help the bleeding stop. That's when he starts crying. And he slips in the tub and smashes his face. We eventually manage to get a bandaid on but he tries to pull it off immediately. So Mark has this brilliant idea. We put a sock on his hand and tape the sock using packing tape all the way around the sock, his arm, and hand. Too bad there isn't a picture. It was pretty genius actually.

We go to get the bloody onesie off and put him in a clean one only to find that he has somewhere in that time had a massive poo. So 45 minutes late we are out the door with our club handed baby in tow. Poor kid. We drop him off, he goes right to sleep, and the date finally begins.

It was so awesome. We went to the mall and picked out fancy hand soap that was on sale at Bath and Body Works. We picked out a bunch of wax melts from Yankee Candle that were also on sale for half price! It was super fun picking them out together. Then we went to Dairy Queen and got Buster Bars. We reminisced about eating them with our moms when we were little. We reminisced about all the dates we had been on. We talked about how nice it was to just be the two of us and to have grown up conversation and not to have a 2 foot tall boss dictating just about every move we make or conversation we have. (Although I wouldn't trade bosses for anything in the entire world. Anything.)

Then we went mini-golfing. Did you know we'd never been together? Ever? It was our first mini-golf session as a couple. And it was awesome. We had a great time. We were pretty evenly matched. I beat Mark by one stroke. But he did get a hole-in-one once. That was pretty awesome.

Then we got to go and pick up our little boss (Thank's Jamie!) and do you know what Mark said as we were going to pick him up, "Isn't it awesome that picking him up gets to be the end of every date?" And I said, "Absolutely." He truly is the best kid ever.

But he is why dating is so important! Because today (even though he is the best kid ever) he was being his little rascally self around dinner time; and we were both so tired; and he was bouncing around and making a mess and causing a ruckus. And we were able to look at each other and say, "Wasn't last night awesome? Didn't we have the greatest time together?" Because with a toddler around it isn't possible for us to build up our own relationship in such a way that will keep it strong enough to create a good home for him.

Not only does dating help you build up your spousal relationship but it gets you through those long evenings of toddlerhood before bedtime when you think you just can't go one more step with smacking your kid or pulling out all your hair. In those moments you take a good look at your spouse and your heart is filled with warm, loving memories from your most recent date. (At least that is how it happened for me tonight :) And then you take a good look at your rascally kid and that warm loving memory helps you have more patience and more love for him too.

And that is why dating is important. For everyone in the family.

What I Hope For

I have the most beautiful picture of God in my mind's eye. It is almost indescribable.

I want Him to be everything I imagine: benevolent, firm, understanding, having high expectations, creative, artistic, brilliant. The list just goes on and on.

When I think about God I imagine the perfect parent and I feel so warm and happy inside. I think of how happy I am here and hope that this is not all there is to existence. I want so badly for there to be more. And I hope beyond hope that God is real. I want God to be real so badly. I want to meet this man I have envisioned. I want to meet his son, Jesus Christ.

Sometimes I believe he is real. Sometimes I hope he is real. Someday I hope I KNOW he is real and meet him face to face.

Family Reunion

In July we went to the Bailey Family Reunion at Tenney Ranch. It was over the 4th of July weekend. Everyone was there, including Mark! Up until 2 weeks before the reunion it looked like Mark wouldn't be able to come. But he worked it out with some of the attending radiologists to get the holiday weekend off.

Austin and I were planning on going the entire time. The family was excited to be seeing us but sad that Mark wouldn't be coming. Mark was going to be the only family member absent. But we sure surprised them! Mom's reaction was the best. She was just so excited! She walked in and everyone was sitting down to eat and we were all pretty quiet because we were waiting to see how long it would take her to notice Mark. She was shocked! She gave him a big hug and just couldn't stop saying how happy she was and how surprised and how we had totally gotten her. It was awesome. EVERYONE was excited to have him there :)

Austin and I went to Arizona a few days before Mark to spend some time with my mom. Austin and I stayed with her at her house. We just hung out most days. Nana watched Austin one morning so we could go to the temple together. It was lovely. I love spending time in the temple, especially when I have my mom with me. It was exactly what I needed-- some peace and quiet with my own mother. We had lots of great talks and Austin LOVED climbing up on her chair-and-a-half when the cushions were off and just bouncing around on it. It was so cute. We went to the park and played in her front yard and played with the new books and toys she bough just because Austin was coming to visit. She is an awesome grandma. But I mean, she was an awesome mom too so what can you expect? :)

After spending several days with Grandma Van Gesen, Mark flew into Phoenix! Grandma watched Austin while I drove down to get Mark. His flights were both delayed but he still made it to Phoenix! As we were driving home we saw some awesome fireworks being set off by a casino right on the side of the bee-line highway. It was awesome. We got back to Snowflake around 12:00 and surprised everyone the next morning by showing up at Tenney Ranch together.

The reunion was a blast. We did lots of fun things: jewelry making, mani-pedis, waterballoon volleyball, 5K race, family history lessons, family pictures, chess tournaments, arm wrestling tournaments, sliding, teeter-tottering, and lots and lots of visiting. It was a blast.

 Austin got to spend lots of time bonding with his Grandpa. He thinks Grandpa is pretty special. It might help that he looks a lot like dad :)

 Mark came in first for the 5K! Here he is coming in and right after the race. He said it felt good to beat his brothers but the best feeling of all was beating his dad :) Mark's dad is a great runner and runs at least one marathon a year if not more.

The Bakers brought their dog, Ruby. They just moved and can't have her in their current apartment so they brought her to give to the Tharps. It was fun having her around. The kids, including Austin, loved it. Austin got SO muddy playing with that dog.

 Austin LOVED his Nana. He absolutely loved her from day one. He had no stranger anxiety with her or anything. He loved to be held by Nana and just be with Nana. That was even before he got to choose out of Nana's goody bag! Nana is a special lady I guess!

Even though the reunion itself was "officially" over everyone stayed at Mom and Dad Bailey's house for an extra night. It was a blast being in such close quarters with everyone for one evening! It was a Saturday night and we all went to Eva's together for dinner. It was a little... ok a lot... crazy at dinner. Good thing we were completely isolated from all the other customers in the banquet room! The kids were super loud and all over the place. It was pretty funny. The food was amazing though, of course. Thanks Mom and Dad Bailey for treating us!

After dinner Mark, Austin, and I took a quick trip over to the cemetery so I could visit my dad's grave. I find it so peaceful and I love to visit it every time I go. It helps me feel close to him. We swung by my mom's house to grab Austin's jacket and then we met the whole family at the Taylor Rodeo Grounds for the 4th of July rodeo and fireworks. It was on the 6th of July. Go figure. I guess they just wanted to do it on a weekend :)

Austin was a little stinker most of the time but he eventually calmed down. Right when the fireworks started :) Watching the sunset from the top of the bleachers was really beautiful though. The rodeo was pretty good but not one bull rider was able to stay on the bull! The fireworks were great too.

Overall it was a fantastic trip. We can't wait until we get to see everyone again soon!

Beach Time!

So Mark took Step 2 CK in the middle of June. He spent about 4 weeks studying for it. We really wanted to get out of town and go to the beach the day before he took the test to help him clear his mind and relax before the big test.

We drove to Wilmington on Thursday afternoon and spent the evening eating Chick-fil-A on the beach and playing in the sand and the water as the sun set.

The next morning we went to the beach again. The weather was perfect. We all had a great time. Austin had an especially fun time in the sand. He love to squish his hands in it and knock down all of the towers we made for him with his new sand toys. The waves were still a little scary but he tolerated them if they were very small.

We brought a bowl of watermelon from home with us, knowing it was one of Austin's favorite fruits. He devoured it on the beach.

After our morning beach excursion we went back to the hotel for Austin to take his morning nap. Mark and I showered and washed up while he slept. Then we checked out of the hotel and went on a drive around Wilmington. We ended up at the U.S.S. North Carolina-- a giant WWII battleship that fought in the South Pacific.

We didn't intend to end up there but we are sure glad we did! We decided the entrance fee was worth it and it totally was. We had a great time exploring the ship from stern and top to bottom.

One of the coolest parts of the ship was finding the sick bay. They even had an x-ray room. Of course with our budding radiologist here we had to snap some pictures of that. Some of the stories from the sick bay were pretty funny. Also-- Mark says that the x-ray shown is actually a female rib-cage. Pretty funny considering it was definitely an all male ship.

After we were finished we started home. We stopped at Subway (for me) and Hardee's (for Mark) on the way home for lunch. Austin slept almost the whole way. He woke up to enjoy some watermelon and a sucker about the time we reached Greensboro :)

Overall it was a fantastic trip and Mark did fabulously on Step 2 the next day! And when he came home that evening after his 9 hour test we dropped Austin off at the Walton's (THANK YOU!) and spent the next 6.5 hours in the emergency department where I was treated for a kidney infection. Thankfully the infection peaked after our fabulous trip!

What We've Been Working On

Baby Bailey #2

January 2014

Surprised?! So were we!

When I asked Mark "How did this happen?!" His tongue in cheek response was "Well, when two people love each other..." And I said "I know how it happened, but I mean, how did it happen?!"

Austin was our medical miracle. It took us four years to conceive him and a lot of medical intervention.

This sweet pregnancy is our miracle. It just happened.

God truly works in a mysterious way. His timing is perfect. For some reason there is another spirit that needs to join our family sooner rather than later.

The first trimester is over before it even began for me. I was already nearly 8 weeks pregnant when I found out I was pregnant. I had been feeling irritable, tired, and kind of sick to my stomach. Then I thought I had a UTI. So I went to my doctor thinking ally my symptoms must be related to the UTI. He said I didn't have a UTI** or a yeast infection and that he didn't know what was wrong but if things got worse before they got better to call and they would give me an antibiotic just to be safe.

So I went home and complained to Mark that I had just spent $90 at the doctor's office for nothing and I should have just waited it out. He suggested that I might be pregnant. I scoffed. There was no way I could be pregnant. We weren't even trying! I mean, we weren't exactly trying to prevent it either, but up until now I have been my very own (and very effective) birth control.

But that did get me thinking... So I told him I was really craving some Oreos. He said I could go get some if I wanted. So I did. But I didn't really want cookies. I wanted to buy a pregnancy test without telling anyone. I didn't want anyone else to be disappointed if it was negative. Besides, I told myself, You just got a prescription for birth control. You need to take a pregnancy test before you start anyway to be on the safe side. So I bought the cookies and the test. I brought in the groceries and said I had to go to the bathroom. I hid the test up my shirt and ran upstairs.

My hands were not shaking. I wasn't nervous. I wasn't excited. I totally expected the test to be negative. Imagine my immense surprise when both lines turned purple. I just about dropped it into the bath tub. I just sort of sat there and stared at it in disbelief for a few minutes. But deep in my heart I knew it wasn't a false positive. I finished my business and marched in and showed the test to Mark. He said "I knew it!"  Then the conversation at the top of this post took place.

And now I am somewhere between 12 and 13 weeks. We can't be exactly sure because we can't date the pregnancy from my last menstrual cycle. I had the above ultrasound to get an estimation.

But we are expecting #2! And we are thrilled. This really is a dream come true for me. I always wanted to just "get pregnant" without any intervention. And it has happened! It truly is a miracle. Now that the shock and fear and apprehension have mostly worn off I am just plain excited. The excitement grows every single day!

2014 will be a big year for us! Bring it on!

**I did have a UTI, by the way. My doc just didn't catch it. 3 days later I was in the Emergency Department with a fever of 102, chills, aches, and pain in my back. The UTI had progressed to a kidney infection. Ugh. I was in the hospital for about 7 hours. I had IV antibiotics and some morphine. And when I got home I had to take the nastiest antibiotics ever for 10 days. Thankfully it passed and the baby is just fine!

Soft Things

There is something I don't ever want to forget about Austin because it certainly won't last forever. Oh the stages they go through.

Austin does the cutest thing right now. It almost seems like a reflex!

Anytime he touches something soft he will immediately start to suck his thumb. When he is tired he intentionally seeks out something soft so he can start sucking his thumb. It is SO cute. He sucks his thumb when he holds onto soft blankets or stuffed animals. He sucks his thumb when we read Pat the Bunny and he gets to pat the bunny. In fact, if he can't find something soft readily available he will go to the bookshelf, find that book, open it up the bunny page, and start patting the bunny and sucking his thumb. SO cute.

But by far the cutest thing he does is suck his thumb when he feels daddy's hair. The other day Mark was lying down on the couch next to me while I was holding Austin. Austin reached out to touch Mark's hair and then immediately started sucking his thumb because Mark's hair was soft. He has now done this several times. Sometimes when I am changing Austin's diaper and he is upset, Mark will come put his head next to Austin's and Austin will reach out and touch Mark's head and start sucking his own thumb and calm right down.

So cute.

Summer of Strawberries

I love strawberries. LOVE them. I've always wanted to go berry picking but I never have. Well North Carolina is full of strawberry farms. And this year I went berry picking! Mark, Austin, and I went with my friend Bridget Morgan and her daughters. We went to a little farm just outside the city. It was SO much fun. It was an absolutely beautiful day and we got the most delicious strawberries I have ever had.

It was so much fun to eat them warm right off the vine as we were filling out buckets. Even Austin got in on the action! Strawberries are his favorite fruit, hands down. When we put him on the ground he would either reach his hand into the bucket, or into the bushes and pick out the nearest strawberry and stuff it into his mouth. He even tried to go for a few kind of rotten ones that had fallen off the vines or out of other pickers buckets earlier. That boy LOVES strawberries!

This year we also planted our own strawberries in an old recycling bin. It looks kind of sheik to have plants in recycling bins I think :) I have had a pretty good harvest too! I've picked 14 strawberries from my two little plants!

I have an entire pinterest board dedicated to strawberry recipes and I am going picking again tomorrow!

My Second First Mother's Day

Mother's Day last year was kind of lame. I mean, don't get me wrong. It was AMAZING being a mother on Mother's Day. I had waited for so many years and it was such a joy to me. I was also exhausted since I had a 4 week old baby and Mark gave me an entire night's sleep by taking all the nighttime feedings. I felt like a new woman when I woke up in the morning. But besides those two things Mother's Day was kind of lame for the following reasons: Mark started his first night shift that day. So he slept all day. I had to go to church by myself. I had to spend the entire evening by myself. Some friends invited me over for dinner, which I was thankful for. But I missed Mark and I was lonely for him. And that was it. That was my mother's day. Kind of lame.

But THIS year it couldn't have been more different.

Austin is sleeping like a champ at 13 months. (The irony of this Mother's Day was that Mark was just coming off the night shift this year. But coming off is way better than starting!) So I got to sleep in. Because we went to bed pretty early I woke up before Austin. I therefore had the immense pleasure of having an incredibly happy baby to go in and pick up and cuddle with when he woke up while being fully rested and alert myself. Mark got up soon after that. He insisted that I go back upstairs and await breakfast in bed. So I made the bed and sat on it waiting for my boys to bring in breakfast.

I was brought breakfast on a silver tray with 10 beautiful roses in a vase by my two boys. Breakfast was bagels from a local shop, fresh fruit, turkey sausage, and orange juice. Divine. After I had taken a few bites Mark went and got my present.

I had asked for a new food processor since mine broke. I had been 90% certain he had gotten me the food processor. We had talked about budget and created it around the gift I wanted. I was absolutely certain that was what I was getting. The gift came Friday. He had asked me not to pick up or shake the box but just to scoot it into the house. I figured that was because he hadn't wanted to me to confirm that I had gotten a food processor. So I  abode by his wishes and just scooted the box inside. Little did I know...

He brought the box in and I opened it fully expecting to see a white Cuisinart Box with a brand new food processor. Instead I opened the top flap and the first word I saw was written in big red letters: "Canon." I immediately closed the box and looked up at Mark in absolutely disbelief. I said "Nuh uh." He looked sheepish and a little nervous. I reopened the box and pulled out a brand new DSLR camera. He had purchased it in a bundle so it came with an extra lens, a tripod, instructional DVD, screen cleaners, screen protectors, and a few more things. I was in absolute shock.

Never in our marriage had Mark surprised me with a gift like that. It was completely for me. It was completely frivolous  It was just something I had dreamed about and wished for but never really considered owning: at least not for a few more years at least. I was completely shocked and absolutely thrilled. As soon as I took the first pictures of Austin I was almost brought to tears. The pictures were so much better than anything we had taken or could possibly take with our old camera. I was just so delighted.

He told me he had justified it because he was just so proud of me for the new house cleaning regimin I have maintained for the last six weeks. He told me he was so proud of me for changing my eating habits and helping him to do the same. He told me he was so proud of the way I am raising our son. He told me he was just so proud of me and wanted me to know how much he loved and appreciated me. He told me never before had the word "home-maker" meant so much to him. He never realized what a job it was to make a home; never realized that it truly is a job like any other; never realized what a difference it makes in one's life to have a home. It just warmed my heart for him to validate me. For him to acknowledge in a new way that what I do is a job just as valuable and important as any other. What a delightful and wise and appreciative man I have married. He makes me so happy and I am so glad I make him happy too.

So-- we went on an early morning walk and took some pictures with our amazing new camera. We went to church as a family where I got to attend Relief Society, thanks to the Elder's Quorum taking over Primary. The lesson was all about the importance of family. It was a beautiful lesson. Mark took Austin willingly for all 3 hours of church and then again for a 4th hour while I played for ward choir. He never complained. He just spoiled me rotten. I felt so loved and important.

After church we came home and Mark put Austin down for a nap and then made lunch for me. We had fish sandwiches, chips, and fruit. It was delicious. As soon as Austin woke up Mark took us on another walk at my request. He doesn't usually love to go on multiple walks a day but because I wanted it so badly he readily agreed without complaint because it was Mother's Day. I just can't express in words how loved and appreciated I felt by Mark. He spent the whole day making me feel like a queen. He took over all food preparation, Austin care, and chores while at the same time showering me with gifts and affection.

After Austin went to bed we had dinner: shrimp boil kebabs with macaroni and cheese. He called his mom while he grilled the kebabs outside. For dessert we had strawberry yogurt cake and homemade vanilla ice cream.

As soon as we had finished eating Mark attacked the pile of dishes and cleaned the entire kitchen.

It was such a vast improvement that I consider it in some ways to be my first mother's day. But not really. But kind of :)

It was such a wonderful day. I felt truly admired, appreciated, cared for, loved, and cherished by my husband and son. I can't even put it into words. I love my husband. I love my son. And I thank my Heavenly Father and Mother for giving me the life I enjoy.