Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.
In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.
~Proverbs 3:5-6~
I got a job!! I will be teaching chorus full time at Reidsville Middle School in North Carolina. I am so nervous and so excited. I can't believe I landed a full time job. It is a hard time to find work for anyone right now, and I feel so blessed to have this job at this time. It gives me something to look forward to in North Carolina. I am scared and nervous and confident and excited. I know I am probably going to make some big mistakes in my first year of teaching but I am going to love those kids with all my heart and hopefully that will help make up for some of my mistakes.
Here is the story of how I got the job. It is a long story so skip to the bold section to get the good stuff at the end if you like :)
After my miscarriage in May I was devastated. I was really depressed, anxious, and fearful about the future. My resume was outdated and I had never actually written a letter of interest. I was overwhelmed by what I needed to do and no jobs were showing up. I was watching my niece full time and my sister did not have internet access at her house. I was fearful and frustrated all day that I could not job hunt. I was then so tired by the end of the day that I did not feel like doing it!
Then one day, six music positions in a neighboring school district opened up. I was really excited and I spent the next two weeks working on my letters and resume. I visited the advisment office with my niece in tow twice, sent my resume to all my professors, and had a couple of principals look over it. I took a deep breath and faxed and/or e-mailed my resume to several different schools. I made several phone calls.
I hated making those calls. They were the worst. I hated getting help on my resume. I hated e-mailing and faxing my resume. It was hard and scary. Before every single phone call I would look at my phone, take a deep breath, and dial. Every, single, time. Alas, I only got one response from that first batch. Pilot Elementary. I was so excited about that response! It was my first interview invite.
Almost every night I would visit the websites for all the neighboring school districts to see if any new music teacher positions were posted. As they were posted I would make phone calls and send of my resume. About three weeks ago Rockingham County School District posted two music teacher positions at the middle school and high scool level in Reidsville, NC. I took that deep breath and made the phone calls, one for the middle and one for the high school. For the first time I was put through directly to the principals! I had to leave a message for the middle school principal but immediately got to speak to the high school principal. He invited me for an interview on the spot. I was thrilled. TWO interviews! That very morning I purchased my plane ticket to North Carolina.
Three days before I left for North Carolina I called the middle school principal again. He also invited me for an interview! THREE interviews! Mark was so proud of me for making that phone call. All told I applied to 15 schools.
In the few days before I left for North Carolina I though a lot about what questions I would get asked. I would pretend to be both the principal and the interviewee and I would answer questions in my head. I would describe my philosophies to my mom and my husband and they would offer insights and advice to add to what I had said. I knew my dad was listening in :) I researched all three schools and wrote down questions I planned on asking. All during my preparations I felt so peaceful. I had not felt so peaceful during the entire job hunt.
I had a really early flight on Wednesday morning so Mom and Dad Bailey and Mark and I came down on Tuesday afternoon. While Mom and Dad Bailey bought their new car Mark and I went and tried to find me a new shirt to wear for my interview. It took some looking but in the end we found a classy blue button up top. Finding the shirt was actually kind of stressful. I also had to get together a notebook of my teacher work sample, resume, and letters of recommendation which was also stressful. Once all that was done though we had a wonderful meal at Macayos with Mom and Dad. Before I left I had Mark give me a blessing and the peaceful feeling returned.
I finally made my trip to North Carolina. I woke up at 3:00 AM to leave for the airport. It was a long day of travel and I was very lonely. I went and saw the apartment Mark and I will be living in and then I checked in to my hotel. I made a few final preparations. I wrote down all the things I wanted to say in the interviews and studied them. I was so anxious I could hardly sleep. I woke up in the morning and barely got out the door in time but I was still feeling so peaceful.
As I drove up to Reidsville High School I took one last look at my notes before I went in. The interview went really well! I felt so prepared for all of his questions and had a few questions of my own. I was able to describe my vision in great detail and with lots of enthusiasm and confidence. I left my notebook with him and went to the middle school to interview. I did my best there and felt good about my performance. I then had a short interview with the county office where Pilot Elementary School is located. It was hard and impersonal and really shook me up but my interview at Pilot went really well and he pretty much offered me the job on the spot! I then returned to Reidsville to leave Thank You notes at the schools where I had interviewed.
I left North Carolina feeling confident and peaceful. A few days after I got home I got two phone calls offering me jobs. I could hardly beleive it. Not only was I going to have a job in North Carolina, but I had to make a choice! It was actually a really hard choice and making the choice was such a good experience for me.
You know, I have never really asked God to help me make a decision before. I have never trusted in him enough. I pretty much chose where I was going to college and what to major in without really consulting my Heavenly Father. I was just never sure it mattered enough to him and I never felt confident enough that he would give me answers. As a result I often questioned whether or not I should have studied music at all but I always felt like it was too late to change my mind.
Working through the grief of my miscarriage was difficult. I held on to my life for dear life. I took it out of the Lord's hands and tried to control it. It was miserable. After I read the interpretation of the story of Christ and the daughter of Jairus in "Making Sense of Suffering" I began to heal. In this book it describes how Jairus left his terminally ill daughter to seek Christ. When he finds Christ and asks him to heal his daughter, Christ answers that he will heal Jairus daughter. However, the going is slow. The Master is thronged by the multitudes and by the time they get to Jairus house, the daughter is dead. What must Jairus have been feeling that whole time? Probably anxious, stressed, and impatient that the going was so slow. but the master would not be rushed. He had made his promise to Jairus but it was kept on the Saviour's time table, not on Jairus' time table. Eventually Christ did heal this patient man's daughter, but not after much grief on the part of Jairus. It was then I realized that God has made many promises to me and he keeps them... on HIS time table. I began to have enough faith to put my life back into the Lord's hands.
So in making my decision between the schools I truly studied it out in my mind and sought God's help in making the final decision. I got the offer for Pilot first but within a few hours I knew I would also be getting an offer from Reidsville Middle School because of an e-mail I got from the principal. When I woke up on Tuesday (June 22) I got right down on my knees and told Heavenly Father that my intention was to take the job at Pilot Elementary School. I asked Heavenly Father to give me peace if it was right or a stupor of thought if it was wrong.
When I got the call from Reidsville offering me the job, I asked the principal to give me some time to decide (as I had multiple offers). He said of course he could give me some time and wished me luck in my decision making process. After I told Mark I had gotten another offer we took some time together to study both options out in our minds.
All through the process my heart was leaning toward Pilot Elementary School. Because it had been my first offer I had gotten used to the idea and I could really see myself teaching there. Mark and I listed the pros and cons of each school and talked about impressions and feelings that couldn't really be written down. After discussing all these things Mark suggested we pray together for inspiration regarding the decision. After the prayer we talked a little more and then Mark said he felt impressed that he needed to leave the room and let me make the decision on my own. He said he would support whatever I chose to do.
After he left I felt that I needed to call my mom. In my patriarchal blessing it says I can always go to my parents for counsel that comes from on high. So I gave my mom a call. At this point my heart was still saying Pilot and my head was saying Riedsville. I was standing up straight in between them and feeling very anxious about which school to choose. When my mom answered I told her some of what I was feeling. She said she was also leaning toward Pilot and gave me a few reasons why but as she was speaking about Pilot, everything she said pushed me toward Reidsville!
During my conversation with her I decided I was going to take the Reidsville Job and suddenly my heart filled with peace and I teared up. I knew I had made the right decision. My stupor of thought left me and I thanked my mom for talking to me and told her I had made my decision. I called Mark in and told him I felt peaceful about choosing Reidsville. He teared up as well and said that as soon as I said that he also felt that Reidsville was the right choice.
It was such an amazing process. Initially I made the wrong decision but the Lord guided me to the right one. I had never really experienced it quite like that before. I really did not know what was best for me but I wanted what was going to be best for my family and I made that intention known to the Lord and he helped me make the right decision. Even though Reidsville will be harder than Pilot, it was the right choice. Sometimes the harder path is the one that should be taken. I am so thankful for a Heavenly Father who watches over me and allows me to make my own decisions with his guidance. I know there is caring God in heaven who is my Father and who wants me to have happiness and joy in life. This is brings this post full circle. Proverbs 3:5-6.
