I feel like I am stuck in a rut. I have been down and depressed for almost a week. That is unusual for me. I have been trying to put my finger on it for a while and I just can't seem to figure out exactly what it is that is causing me to feel this way. I have some ideas... Perhaps it is because Mark has been gone a ton these last two weeks. Perhaps it is because the novelty of being a SAHM has worn off and reality is setting in. Perhaps it is because I feel frustrated that day in and day out I simply do the same things over and over and over. Perhaps it is because I miss the constant challenge and triumph of being a teacher. Perhaps it is a combination of all of those things.
What do you do when you are stuck in a rut?
4 comments:
It depends on how bad it is.
I pray, obviously. For inspiration and clarity. To understand why I feel that way.
I also reevaluate my daily schedule. I make a list of things I want to be doing, and things I am actually doing, and write out a loose schedule that reorganizes my day to include things I want and cut out the things that waste my time.
I make more time for girlfriends. I notice that social time with adults lifts my spirits a lot, especially when Steve is not available. Often I am not in the mood for getting together, but when I do it anyway I am always glad.
I do things to make others feel special. Service is an instant spiritual boost. Sometimes it is just calling my mom, sending pictures of the kids to my grandma, writing an email to my missionary sister-in-law. Doesn't have to be big, it all helps.
I make up some things to look forward to, to make the days feel like they lead up to something. I set up a date with Steve, take the kids out for frozen yogurt, or, once a year, plan a trip with just the hubs.
Last year around this time I got very depressed, and it was when I decided I didn't feel fulfilled as a person by keeping my focus solely on raising the kiddos. So I gave myself two BIG challenges, that I have always wanted to do but have always excused myself from for various never-good-enough reasons: to get my body in tip top shape, and to write a book all the way through. These things have been incredibly hard, but each step forward has made me feel incredibly empowered. I feel like I suddenly, finally know my worth. I can be a mother, and I can be much more, too. I spent a lot of time supporting Steve in his dreams, and using that as an excuse not to pursue mine. We are both happier with me working toward something larger than myself.
And, finally, when it is just so overwhelming I can't do anything more, I sing Rodney Atkin's song, "If You're Going Through Hell." (Keep on going. Don't slow down...) I usually don't like the twangy stuff, but this one is my anthem when I'm struggling. Worth a listen. :)
I try to make a new friend. Not only does it expand my social circle, but I find it usually opens up new opportunities for activities. (They may participate in activities I would never think to try.)
I try to find something creative to do that I love. And it has to be big to avoid that "day in and day out" sort of feeling. Sometimes that is indexing goals, crafting, big organizing projects or reading.
I hope you get to see Mark more soon!
Amanda, though I don't know exactly what you're feeling, I can relate. What you're doing now, though of eternal significance, is VERY different than anything you've done before. It's tough. I blogged about it a little (January 2009 on our blog) and what I tried to do.
Some ideas: serve someone (write an email or a physical note or letter to uplift someone), make cookies and take them to someone, call someone to talk or to let them know you're thinking about them, work on a talent or a hobby (This can be limiting, but making that one stitch that doesn't need redone is sometimes more important than the dishes that have to be done everyday.), listen to powerful or uplifting music, read a fiction or non-fiction that requires your mind, write a note to your hubby and plant it where he'll find it later, read a Conference talk, watch BYUTV (on the computer--yeah!), work on your photo books, draw a portrait of Austin, etc.
It's okay sometimes to feel down. Knowing you are feeling down can be powerful, though: You can take that and bite back. Do something that helps you feel like the amazing daughter of God you are. Usually that something is simple, but that little thing can remind you that your role as a mother is worth every sacrifice.
I love you, Amanda! You are great!
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