Valuing Our Differences

Mark said the most wonderful thing to me the other day. I think he was inspired.

I had just spent 4 hours babysitting for a family in our ward who is moving next week. They needed some kid free time in order to pack. So I had their one year old, their three year old, and my 3 month old son. In those 4 hours I took all three kids to the park, held one boy in the baby carrier and the other on my hip while playing make-believe with the three year old. An hour later back at the house I managed to calm both crying boys and get them down for naps while keeping the three year old entertained. I felt like super-woman and when Mark came home I told him so. I said "I got skiillss." And even though I was being silly I really believed it and Mark very seriously agreed with me.

I asked him if he was impressed. He said he was absolutely impressed. I asked "Really?" and he said "Yes!" He then went on to explain that mothering and other "womanly" skills are just as difficult and important as working outside the home. He said unfortunately as our society has progressed those skills are simply not valued as highly as the skills of "men."

Mark wasn't being condescending at all. He was truly impressed by my skills and for the first time since I started being a stay at home mom I felt really confident. I felt really good about my choice. I felt really good about my role as a wife and a mother. Because you know what? Those really are SKILLS. They are not easy. They are challenging. And not everyone can do them. Men are typically not nearly as good at it. But no one faults them for it. However, women are often faulted for lacking worldly, "manly" skills and as my husband pointed out it is just sad. It is sad that a woman can no longer be valued as being a woman. He said everyone appreciates it and values it when they are receiving it as a child but when they grow up and forget about it they cease to value it.

Hearing those words from my husband's lips really boosted my self-esteem. He is awesome. He values our differences as do I. He knows I am smart and skilled. He encourages me to be my best self. And you know what? I know he is smart and skilled and I encourage him to be his best self. We are a team. And he struggles as much in his role as provider as I do in my role as nurturer so we strive to build each other up in each of those roles. I spent two years as sole provider so I know what that is like. And he takes time with Austin every day so he knows what my role is like. And we talk about it and encourage each other in our weakness and self-doubt. I love my husband. He is truly my better half in every way.