Monday, July 9, 2012

Cut a Brother a Break!

I had a friend post about this on facebook:


She found it very upsetting, chauvinistic and somewhat misogynistic as well. I agreed that it is definitely not the best comparison. In fact, it is pretty bad. People shouldn't be compared to pigs. I then read a blog post someone mentioned in the comments on her facebook found here: http://mormonchildbride.blogspot.com/2012/07/take-sad-song-and-make-it-better.html

That person is pretty disparaging of the above meme as well. Some of the comments on her post are so horrible and hateful toward men. She says that she thinks any sort of patriarchal society is bad. I disagree. Someone has to be the head of the family. We don't have multiple prophets at the head of the church, we have one. A family shouldn't have multiple heads, it should have one. But like the prophet it should take counsel, advice, and help from others (i.e. the wife). Seriously. I am a woman. I like to think I am fairly progressive as well, somewhat of a feminist but really: cut a brother a break.

I digress. Mainly I am upset by how hateful some of the women are toward men in the comments section. They complain and complain and say essentially that a man has no right to blame a woman for his bad thoughts and that a woman should be able to wear what she wants and that a man should be able to "control" himself and his thoughts.

Well I agree. A man should be able to control himself and his thoughts. But let's help a brother out here ladies! A woman can choose to dress how she will. That is her right as a woman. But if a man gets aroused or a bad thought in his head when he sees her whose fault is it? His? Hers? I believe it is not anyone's fault. Biology's fault if the fault can be put anywhere at all! Having a bad thought cross your mind is NOT a sin. It just happens. Dwelling on that thought IS sinful. Acting on that thought is DEFINITELY sinful. So if a woman chooses to dress "immodestly" if you will, and a man gets a bad thought in his head he should not blame her, he should just dismiss the thought and realize that it is just the natural man. It is not his fault. It is not her fault. It just is.

However, why can't we, as women, help a brother out by dressing modestly?  His biology makes him a visual creature. Sure it isn't your fault. Like I said, it isn't anyone's fault. Let's not place blame here. But do let's help each other out. I mean doesn't it say that in the D&C? The whole point of the Word of Wisdom is to help out "the weakest among you." There is nothing inherently evil in wine or coffee. Jesus drank wine! He made wine from water for heaven's sake! For centuries the safest thing to drink was beer because water was contaminated! BUT in the day and age we live in alcohol has devastating effects on families and individuals because of its availability and our expansive amount of leisure time (relative to our ancestors). So we ALL abstain from alcohol to help those who are not strong enough to say no or only have a little bit. And we don't get all worked up about that! So why about this?

I agree. It is a bad meme. A bad comparison. But why all the hate? Come on ladies. It is just his biology. He really can't help those thoughts from coming. He can dismiss them when they do and not act on them or think about it further. But really. Help a brother out and dress modestly.


4 comments:

Hilary and Eric said...

You know, this meme hadn't bothered me before, but you bring up some really interesting points. I guess it bothers me that it implies only "piggish" guys are affected by/notice ladies showing a lot of skin. Normal guys notice too. Just because it arouses them doesn't make them a skeezy-bag. Take home point? Yay for modesty!

A. B. said...

Amen Hilary! Amen!

Melissa S. said...

WOW, I can't believe people got all worked up about that. I think that comic is hilarious. All comics are made to be exaggerations w/ a little truth, that's what makes them funny. And if someone DOESN'T have a sense of humor about it......well let's just say the guilty take the truth to be hard. ;)

Sam and Kat said...

I saw the quote this morning on facebook. I don't hate the guy for posting it but I certainly do think it's a tad on the judgmental side. I mainly feel this way because I have lots of family who are not LDS so their ideas of clothing are so different than ours. I don't look at them and say "gosh why do they have to dress so immodestly??" because they have completely different values and ideas about life than I do. And I don't think there is anything wrong with that. They make choices in their life and I make choices in mine. In my life, I make the choices to dress more modestly but I am not going to impose my ideals and morals on other people if they don't live by the same values that I do. And I certainly would never look down on them for living differently. I feel like in the LDS culture, we always feel like its our place to try to make sure everyone is doing what they should or at least make them feel like the should. But in reality, everyone has free agency, and we shouldn't judge them for the choices they make.

I appreciate your idea that with dressing immodestly and men's thoughts, no one is to blame. And I agree that as women, we could help them out a bit.. But I just don't like when people are so judgemental towards those who choose differently. OK, my rant is over.. sorry. Just came back into town (from having no internet for a week) and saw the quote on fb then happened to read your blog so it was already on my mind lol.