Doing What Works

The first few weeks of Austin's life were hard for me. I had read a couple of books but the advice therein didn't seem to be working for me. He didn't sleep well and I was exhausted. Then one day a very nice girl from my church came over to bring me dinner. Her son was two months older than mine. She gave me the best advice. She told me that in the two months she had been a mother she had already learned that there is no one right way to do things. There is no one magic method that works on every child. She said that after about six weeks she realized that what really mattered was doing what worked. And after her visit I finally started to relax.

A few days later I also read this awesome article on some blog I came across. I wish I had the link. It might be on my facebook somewhere. I'll have to troll through and see. It was about being a feminist who chose to stay home and raise her family. And that is a nice thought. But there was one paragraph that really stood out to me. It did not have a ton to do with her article but I feel like Heavenly Father guided me to that blog post just to hear her perspective which was this:

Women of her generation (she was born in the 60s I think) were not afraid to be mothers. They had children and then followed their instincts about what to do with the child. They did not worry about doing it all "right" and "according to the book." They just did it. In her experience women of my generation are fearful mothers who are trying to do everything right and perfectly and find motherhood overwhelming and stressful.

And then a few days after I read about following my instincts I was rocking Austin to sleep worrying about when he would "finally" start sleeping through the night, wondering which sleep training methods I would use when I got a distinct impression in my mind from Heavenly Father that said, "Don't worry about it. It will just happen."

And guess what? It did. He just gradually went from 3 hour stretches at night to 4, then 5, then 6, then 7. Now he gives me one good 7-8 hour stretch at night. If I am really lucky it will be 9.

And just today Austin woke up 45 minutes into his morning nap. So I tried having him cry it out. Well that didn't work. So I tried having Mark go in and rock him back to sleep. Well, that didn't work either. So I went in and rocked him myself and he fell right back asleep for another 45 minutes.

Again today Austin woke up 45 minutes into his second nap. So right when he started to fuss I went in and rocked him back to sleep. It worked like a charm. Until I put him down. Then he woke up. So I rocked him again and put him in his swing where he has been sleeping for 20 more minutes. I'm just trying to do what works.

So if I could give any advice to a new mother it would be to not stress about doing it "right." I would tell her to follow her instincts. I would tell her to do what works for her and for her child. I would tell her the only right way to raise her child is her own loving and unique way because I know from my own experience and impressions from a loving God that the best way for me has been my way. And I couldn't be happier.