I am having the worst anxiety. I have not had anxiety like this in years. And it feels terrible. I can't pinpoint exactly what it is that is making me anxious either, so I am just going to assume that it is being pregnant that is making me super anxious. Things that I would normally be able to handle I find myself getting really worked up over and super stressed out about. It does not feel good.
I mean, I sit down and list out all the things I think are stressing me out. And I know that by looking at that list I should be able to manage everything. It really isn't anything more or less than I dealt with last year (work). But for some reason it seems so much more insurmountable this year. Is it because I am crazy with hormones and I just can't see clearly? That is the only thing I can think of. Do I need to get help? Is there help available? I am going to ask my doctor tomorrow. I just don't know if I can handle this sort of anxiety without some help and guidance for the next three months.
I know it is vain to assume people read this blog, but if you do, what do you do when you feel like this? If you have children, did you ever feel like this during your pregnancy? Any advice/help would be greatly appreciated.
10 comments:
Amanda, I felt really anxious when I was pregnant too for no particular reason. I just felt off kilter and like I had to tell myself all the time that I could handle things. Don't be stressed. The Lord will use this to teach you what you need to know--that He's there, and that He trusts you, perhaps more than you trust yourself. Hang in there! Find something small you can do that makes you feel happy when you get stressed. For me, that used to be brushing my teeth or reciting a scripture. You're wonderful, and don't forget it.
I'm not pregnant and I still feel anxious all the time. I'm sure being pregnant magnifies all the stresses because you're also worried about the health of your baby, about how you will parent him, etc.
But anyways. I finally pinpointed that I started feeling anxious and worried so much more after I got into a car accident 2.5 years ago. Ever since then I've been pretty paranoid. :) But some things I do to help are:
1) talk myself down. I tell myself that these things are really not so stressful, I can do it, etc.
2) Stress less, pray more. My mom gave me that quote to put in my bathroom and when I remember to pray more it really does help. I find myself praying a lot more and about things that I would normally find silly but are still important to me.
3) Find a stress outlet. Garden, take a hot bath, read. Find someway every day to just enjoy life and not stress.
I hope that helps a little! Feel better!
Things that have helped me:
1. Recognizing that the problem is your anxiety or depression or stress or whatever it is and say it out loud. When I get overwhelmed with tasks or the kids are crying and I start to feel the tightness in my chest and the tears well up I have to say what's really bothering me out loud. "This is happening because I'm dealing with the baby blues" or "I'm having a high anxiety moment." This helps me separate real problems from emotional overreactions.
2. Ask for help from what you feel like will bring you the most comfort at the moment. If you feel the need to talk to a professional counselor, do it. If you feel the need to have a church friend bring dinner or come over to chat or accompany you on a walk, do it. If you feel the need for a blessing, or to read your scriptures or listen to a conference talk or put on church music, do it. Search your mind for what will really bring you comfort and then have the courage to go through with it.
I'm so excited for you, you're going to be a great mom. You're already a great mom!
I have had similar experiences with pregnancy and anxiety, so you are definitely not alone. I never felt the need to have it medically treated, though, (since most of my anxiety just happened when I was very tired) but I would certainly recommend you ask your doctor if there is anything to help relieve your mind and heart. You should not have to feel like this if you don't absolutely have to!
... and it is totally reasonable to feel both incredibly grateful and incredibly uncomfortable with pregnancy at the same time :)
Good luck! Keep hanging in there!
When I am pregnant I am most definitely anxious. I feel like I had to fight off "Crazy Kelsey" for months. I worried a lot about things I could control and those I couldn't. Obviously you've got to try to just reassure yourself about the things you can't control (My baby will probably hate me) and also let go of some of the things you can. I nearly choked the life out of everything with the amount of lists I made in September and October.
My advice is more baths. That and staying cool enough.
Hi Manda,
Hang in there, I'll be praying for you. I felt the same way with all of my pregnancies. We're looking forward to your happy labor day! Love you!
p.s. Okay, just one bit of advice... call Russ. He has some awesome relaxation techniques that he uses with me when the anxiety gets too hard for me to handle alone.
I have the same problems! I find that since now I have this little boy (soon to be two little boys) I am always anxious about them. I think that hormones are a big part of it. I also find that when I have gotten enough sleep that it isn't as big of an issue (this is hard as you get later into the pregnancy because, not only are more hormones raging, but it is hard to sleep.) I also tried to remember perspective: the dishes are not as important as you and Mark and the baby. Your job is not as important, your calling, etc... Also, I think that professional counselors can help a ton and there is no reason to live with anxiety when you don't have to. Also, thanks for complaining a little!! :).
I had bouts of depression with all my pregnancies and extra sensitivity to stressful situations. It was often coupled with physical symptoms like an increased heart rate for no reason. I got worked up over silly things which at the time I knew were silly but couldn't help feeling that way. Honestly, with all those scenarios I found that laughter was the best cure. I read funny blogs, funny books, funny movies, comedians...anything I knew might get a belly laugh out of me. You don't just need humor, you need to really laugh, regularly. It's amazing how laughter has the ability to dissolve emotions like anxiety and depression. Might I suggest cakewrecks.blogspot.com It's one if my go-to websites for when I need a laugh :-)
This DEFINITELY sounds like hormones to me. ;) gotta love the fact that you can blame everything on the pregnancy these days. I had some moments that i felt anxious for sure. other times i would end up starting arguments with sam just for the sake of arguing, so it seemed, haha.. I would just get so worked up over the silliest things and i would even tell myself, why are you getting so worked up over something that you would normally just brush off?? It's totally ok and normal to feel these things. especially getting anxious about the future and the health of baby boy, etc etc. or even if it's over silly things like the kitchen being a mess or your nail polish chipping again or something haha!
a lot of the time, i realized i'd get super stressed or annoyed or anxious if i hadn't eaten in a couple hours. maybe a favorite snack would help calm you down from time to time? (chocolate!hehe) i also started taking hot baths and that also helped a TON, especially reading a book during the bath too. don't be afraid to vent to your husband about your feelings. tell him you aren't meaning to make him feel anxious as well but that you just need to vent. and finally, a priesthood blessing works wonders. this helped me in my more extreme moments. just take a deep breath and tell yourself you are not alone in this adventure. you have your husband and Heavenly Father to help you when you need it most. Hope this helps! good luck!
All great advice, Amanda! And yes, I felt that in all three pregnancies, about different situations and to varying degrees.
(I know that you might not want to hear this, but after the baby is born, you have similar feelings and anxiety. I just figured that you feel all peachy keen once you're not pregnant, and was VERY surprised when I wasn't feeling my normal self immediately. Just to warn you. You WILL get back to your "normal" self, but just not immediately.)
In terms of what to do, I give myself a little pep talk in terms of "I know that hormones are probably helping me feel this anxiety," "What really is this situation?" "I don't need to feel upset at this, but I do and that's okay," etc., etc. Then sometimes I still allow myself to cry, knowing there's a reason.
You'll do great, Amanda. I know you will. You're amazing and incredible and you do great at whatever you do. If you ever need to hear it "in person," just give me a call.
Love you!
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