First Tears

Last night was the spring choir concert for my students. Even though school does not end until May 25 I had the concert early this year because I am going out for maternity leave very soon. I have been working my students like crazy trying to get them ready. I have let a lot of other things I normally do with them fall by the wayside: sight reading, composing, musical terms, etc... But you know what? They were ready. And they sounded AWESOME. Well, awesome for a middle school choir concert. I am not conducting the mo-tab or anything. Well, at least I thought it was awesome. The kids had a great time and performed their very best. I was a proud teacher. 

Until last night my students have never given a sufficiently emotional or musical performance to elicit any tears out of me. It takes a lot to make me cry, even pregnant. But during one of their songs last night the 7th grade girls brought tears to my eyes. I couldn't coach them on the words, I could barely conduct in fact. I was so tearful. All I could do was smile at them and show them a little heart with my hands to show them I loved them. They are such beautiful young ladies. I have had most of them for two years now. They sound wonderful and they were putting so much heart into that song. 

Mark and I have decided that barring tragedy I will be putting in my resignation at the end of the year and staying home with Austin. It wasn't an easy decision. And as those girls were singing so beautifully last night and so intently my heart was full and overflowing. These are my students. These are the girls who filled the sad places in my heart when I was going through infertility. These girls have so much talent. These girls have so much promise for the future. And beyond being touched by their beautiful music I was saddened to think that I probably won't be with them for their last year of middle school. And it broke my heart just a little bit. I will miss them. I will miss their funny way of saying things, their little attitudes about boys and life, their smiles, their singing. Just them. I will just miss them. 

I am not a mom quite yet, but I have to say that being a teacher is awesome. And if being a mom is anything like it, then I can't wait. 

Advice

My dear son has so many clothes. I am so, so thankful. My dilemma is this:

How do I sort them?  (I assume by size...)

Within the sizes how do put them away? Do I keep outfits together or separate them? Pants? Shirts? Onesies? Pajamas?

What should I hang?

What should I put into drawers?

How do you sort your kids clothes when you have enough for the first 12 months?

Trigger

Today I missed my dad. A lot. I haven't really missed him like I did today in quite a long time. And do you know what caused it all?

I bought some sandwich meat at Harris Teeter a couple of days ago. I got a pound of turkey and a pound of ham since they were on sale. I normally only go for turkey, but ham sounded good so I got some. I hastily put the groceries away when I got home. I threw one pound in the freezer and one in the fridge, but I didn't pay attention to what I put where. 

This morning when I was making my lunch I grabbed the one in the fridge and it was ham. My dad ate more ham in every form than any person I had (or have) ever met. The shaved honey ham just made me think of him. It made me miss him and wish he were here. 

I wish he were here to take care of my mom and go on fun trips and missions with her.

I wish he were here to give me advice about teaching.

I wish he were here to watch me become a better teacher.

I wish he were here to see my growing belly and talk to me about what it means to be a parent.

I wish he were going to be here to see my son and bless him and hold him in his arms.

I just wish he were here.

But I know where he is and I know I'll see him again someday. I know he comes to see me sometimes and that he watches over all of us from Heaven. And I am sure that he wishes for me to live a good, righteous life so I can be there, in Heaven with him. 

I love my ham. Thank you Harris Teeter for having it on sale.

But more than ham I love my dad :)

Just Plain Tired

I was exhausted after work today. I mean, I was so tired I couldn't even call my mom on the way home from work because I was just too plain tired to carry on a conversation. I wasn't dangerous on the road but the person I followed almost the whole way home was going 5 under and that was totally okay with me. I didn't even want to keep track of my speed I was so tired. I don't know if this happens to anyone else but when I am super tired like that my body just feels like a dead weight. My arms feel heavy, my head feels heavy, my legs feel heavy. I just don't want to move. It was a long drive home today. And then I got home and slept for over an hour and probably could have slept for another hour but I needed to get up and make dinner. I am feeling more refreshed after my little nap, but going to bed early (even after a long nap) is not going to be a problem tonight.

And you know what? I got 10 hours of sleep on Tuesday night and almost 8 hours last night. And it has been quality sleep! My squished little bladder hasn't even woken me up these last nights because I am just so tired! I attribute it to the pregnancy. Since I am in great health, getting plenty of sleep, and eating really well (gestational diabetes) I must be tired from growing this sweet baby. It is amazing how much energy one little person can take.

I probably have no idea... a little voice in my head is saying "Just wait until he's born..."

But you know what? Bring it on. I love him so much already I would go to the moon and back for him!

Celebrating

I am officially 33 weeks along and now into my 34th week.  He moves around so much! It is the most awesome feeling. It is way more awesome than I thought it would be. It just brings me peace to know that he is growing and becoming stronger. Time is going by so quickly! I have loved (almost) every minute of it. I will admit that the larger I grow the more I realize that in 7 weeks I am going to be ready to have my body to myself again. The little discomforts have been totally 100% worth it. And I really think that I will miss it because I do not know when (or even if) I will get this opportunity ever again. That being said, it is not always comfortable and awesome feeling. So here is to 7 more weeks of feeling great and enjoying this special, precious time with me son. And here is to enjoying having my own self to myself again in 7ish weeks.

Fabulous Weekend

I had the most wonderful weekend and I just have

9 Weeks!

Holy Cow! Where has the time gone? I have only nine more precious weeks of being pregnant. I know that it sounds crazy to say that but I have enjoyed just about every minute of this pregnancy. Little Austin just keeps growing and moving and kicking more each day and it is so precious to me. I do not know when I will have the blessing of pregnancy again and I am enjoying every moment. I am so excited for the day he will arrive, but until then I am enjoying the special time being so close to him. It feels like just yesterday I was willing the days to go faster because I wanted so badly to be out of the dangerous first trimester. And now here I am in the glorious third. I am so thankful for my son and all the happiness he has already brought to me and his dad!