So Mark is doing this summer research project for the Emergency Medicine Department. He got a grant for it so we had a little extra money to vacation with this summer. It has been wonderful. His working hours have been minimal and that little bit of extra cash helped us repair our car and go on some sweet mini-vacations this summer. Part of the program is that he is required to shadow (follow around and observe) his faculty adviser. His adviser is a little difficult to get a hold of and work with but they finally set up a time. He was supposed to go in on Thursday at midnight and shadow until 8:00 AM. I was nervous and anxious and a little sad. For the first time in medical school Mark was going to be away from me in the night.
As it turned out, his faculty adviser had to switch shifts with a colleague at the very last minute. Literally. He e-mailed Mark saying he would be there at 12:04 AM. That would be about 10 minutes after I dropped Mark off at the ED. I was really happy when Mark called me to turn right back around and pick him up. However, I knew it was just being postponed.
And now he is gone.
He left at midnight and will be in the ED all night long. I have a feeling I will be experiencing a lot of these sorts of strange hours and lonely nights. I am a little sad. I will miss the regularity that a traditional school schedule brings. I am jealous of the time he will have to spend with patients, learning how to be a doctor and then actually being a doctor. I know he won't always have these crazy hours. In fact, this isn't even the real deal! He is just shadowing tonight. But I feel like I am getting my very first taste and it is a little bitter.
I feel confident that I will be able to handle this bitter medicine in large doses during some of his rotations and then especially during his residency. We have a wonderful relationship and I am a strong, independent woman. I actually like my alone time, but I know I will get way more of it than I want or need. But I can do this. I am just a little sad and lonely tonight.
2 comments:
It is terrible at first, but you will find a rhythm. (You'll still miss him of course! But it will not feel so lonely.)
Crocheting! its fun, watch your favorite tv shows. Especially girly ones. Or maybe those movies you love and he hates. You can sprawl all over the bed! take all the covers. um sing, dance, and be dorky and no one will know! except me. jk.
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