Jealousy

I feel like I need a friend. A really good friend who I can talk to and who understands me. I felt like I had one in a girl in my ward. But we have had a hard time talking lately (especially since this new girl moved in) and now I feel like she likes her new friend better than she likes me. Doesn't that sound juvenile? And I am trying really hard not to be juvenile about it. I mean I am so embarrassed by my feelings that I have not even confided them to Mark. I just feel like it is really hard to talk to her these days but that she has all these things in common with this other girl and that this other girl is amazing and so easy to talk to. I guess this other girl and her husband went to dinner with my friend and her husband last night and they all ended up talking until 1:00 in the morning. We have never done that. And it is because I just run out of things to say. I feel like we are growing apart and it makes me sad because I do not really have any other close friends. And I guess Mark is my best friend and that is what matters. And my friend and I are really different in our outlooks on life. And I think I don't understand her. She has had some serious depression and I haven't had to deal with that and I think I really don't understand her like this other girl. And so I can sympathize and show her kindness but I can't really validate her feelings. Maybe that is where the miscommunication is coming in. But, I do have other people who are kind and friendly to me. And maybe when I am done working I can be kind and friendly to other people in that way. I am just feeling desperate right now and no one wants a desperate friend. I think I just need to chill out and enjoy my weekend. So I think that is what I will try and do.