I found this wonderful piece written by Krista Oakes. It can be found at 2ofus4now.org.
When I was 12, I knew I would finally be happy when I turned 16 and could drive and date.
When I was 16, I knew I would finally be happy when I started college and lived on my own.
When I was in college, I knew I would finally be happy when I graduated and got married.
When we were newlyweds, I knew I would finally be happy when we had good jobs and a nice place to live.
When we had good jobs and a nice place to live, I knew I would finally be happy when we had kids.
When we had kids, I knew I would finally be happy when they slept through the night and were potty trained...
...when they went to school...
...when they graduated from school...
...when they moved out and started lives of their own...
...when I reached my ideal weight...
...when I went back to my career...
...when the grandchildren came...
...when the grandchildren went back home...
...when retirement came...
...when...
Looking back on life, I never learned to be happy.
***OR***
When I was 12 I could still do kid stuff like climb trees, yet also discover lipstick.
When I was 16 my only concerns were what to wear, what grades I was getting, and whether that cute boy liked me. I had tons of energy, car keys, and a bright future.
When I was in college I lived carefree while my parents still paid many of the bills. I could do whatever I wanted and was accountable only to myself.
When I was a newlywed we had a small apartment, but it was all ours. We did silly romantic things and enjoyed discovering each other.
While we waited for kids we had wonderful opportunities to develop ourselves and our careers. We had nice things. We could go to the movies whenever we wanted without worrying about a sitter. We could travel, sleep in on Saturdays, and eat cold pizza for breakfast. As we struggled with ongoing infertility, we strengthened our marriage and learned a lot about how faith and prayer work.
When the kids finally came we had the chance to learn complete unselfishness. We traded nice furniture and sleep for original crayon art, peanut butter fingerprints, and plastic dishes. Our entertainment wasn't at the movie theater, but in the playpen.
As the kids grew we saw each personality emerge. We learned a lot about patience. We learned to worry less and laugh more with each child.
When the kids grew up and moved away, we rediscovered our marriage. We replaced the beat up furniture and indulged in white carpeting.
When the grandkids came, we became young again.
When retirement came, we served a mission together. We were glad to know that we could still be attracted to each other despite our wrinkles and creaky joints and dentures.
Looking back on life, we learned to be happy in every season.
I am not going to spend any more of my time wishing my life away. I am going to find happiness now, in what I do have. All good things and all the righteous desires of my heart will be met in the Lord's time and in the Lord's way.
Right now I have a beautiful new home in NC. I get to focus nearly all my energy on being the best music teacher I can be and building my career. I get to sleep in on Saturday and Sunday. Mark and I can go anywhere, eat anything, and just enjoy being together without the pressure of parenthood. So even though I want to be a parent more than anything, I will not be any happier then than I am right now because I am choosing to find joy in the life I currently live.
5 comments:
Bless you, Amanda. And thank you. I needed this. Today was the last day of sitting for "my" sweet girls. But they are not mine. And Yuma is not where I want to live. But you're right. Happiness is for now. And adventure IS out there. I love you, so, so much. You are a true sister-friend.
Amanda...I love this! You are amazing to find the best in everything, I wish I had made the best of the days before I was a mum and appreciated them more! Make sure you go to lots of movies and make lots of last minute decisions, these are things I miss the most about having kids. When the time is right you will be such a wonderful mummy. Miss you lots xxx
I love this Amanda! It explains it so well. So get out there and enjoy being just the two of you! You should have a whole day of celebrating it! Sleep in, make a fabulous breakfast together, go somewhere fun (without having to get a sitter!), go out to dinner, stay up late, and go out for a late night snack! This sounds so fun, I might even have to do this!
Thanks for your post and for chatting yesterday. It helped me a lot! i miss you!
Hey Amanda and Mark! I really liked this post...and the whole blog! I'm sure you will love NC. Keep on keepin' on!
What a beautiful post! Thank you so much for sharing. Learning to laugh and smile through every aspect of life can be one of life's greatest trials, but also one of the most rewarding trials. You're wonderful and I miss you. Have fun in NC!!
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