I say it at least 3 or 4 times to Mark and about 15 times to myself every day: I LOVE being a mother. I absolutely love it. It is the best thing that has ever happened to me. Those years of waiting were absolutely worth every minute. I was right to yearn for motherhood as much as I did. It suits me! I love being a stay-at-home mom. I know it's not right for everyone but it is right for me. It is SO right for me. My heart is so full of love, gratitude, and joy I am not sure there is even room for more.
Sure I don't love the moments where Austin pushes the boundaries. I don't love the moments when Sean is inconsolably crying. I don't love changing the poopy diapers of two boys. I don't love the way my postpartum belly looks (lots of flab and very unsightly stretch marks).
But I wouldn't trade motherhood for anything. Below are some of the moments I absolutely treasure with my boys and I would pay any price for having them:
Cuddle Time- Both boys will cuddle with me at the same time, usually right after a nursing session. Can you say maternal bliss?!
Feeding Time (especially breakfast)-I love nursing Sean. I treasure the time we spend, just the two of us, bonding together. It melts my heart. What a sweet boy. I love feeding Austin breakfast on the couch while we watch the morning news.
Bath Time-Austin LOVES baths. Whenever I mention it he says "a baff? a BAFF?!" and is just ready to run upstairs and lay down so I can undress him. It's adorable.
Reading Time-Austin often says "read to you?" meaning he wants one of us to read to him. It is so cute.
Movie Time-We allow the boys (mostly Austin...) to watch one movie or part thereof each afternoon after nap time. Austin's current favorite is "Pwanes!" He always asks first thing in the morning too just to see if we'll let him. The answer is always "Nope. We don't watch until after your nap." And he just goes about his business and doesn't usually ask again until after his nap. It never hurts to ask, right :)
Sleeping Time (especially Sean in his bed and Austin in his bed at night)- Every night, almost without exception, since he began sleeping in his own crib I have gone into Austin's room to look over him as he sleeps. It is one of the most tender parts of my day and a great way to end it. Now I do it with Sean too. I just love, LOVE my boys.
Coloring Time- Austin loves coloring. "Colors" and "Cars" sound an awful lot alike right now so sometimes I can't tell when he wants his cars or his colors!
Holding hands on the stairs-Whether we're going up or down Austin always wants a hand to hold on the stairs. I'll be sad when he feels independent and big enough to do it by himself. But it will be a happy thing too. I want him to be strong and independent.
When Austin says "Hi!- Austin ALWAYS says hi. To everyone. All. The. Time. It's darling. He often says it when he's about to get into trouble too.
When Sean smiles. Enough said.
When Austin wants to hold Sean. He will put out his arms and say "Hoht? Hoht?" Meaning he wants to hold his brother. It's adorable.
When Austin says "a-GAIN!" excitedly. If we're reading a book and he likes it a lot he'll say that with the biggest grin on his face until you read it again. How can you not when he looks at you that way?
When Austin makes car noises on the couch with his toy cars. This happens all day. Every day. But I love it. I wonder what is going on in his imagination?
Austin ceremoniously dumping out his cars every morning when he first comes down the stairs. It happens every day. I love it. It just makes me smile.
Daddy time. I LOVE the way Mark is with our sons. Every single time, without fail, when he holds Sean he just says "Aww! He is SO sweet!" He also has a magic touch and can just get Sean to sleep like that! It's amazing. Mark is amazing with Austin too. They are best friends. Every morning after Mark leaves Austin says "Dada?" meaning "Where is dad?" Now he has just started to say "Where Dada?" And when Mark gets home it's like a party every day for Austin! They go on a walk every day together, just the two of them. Mark plays cars with him, reads with him, rough houses with him. It is so awesome. They really are best little friends. It melts my heart.
Being a mother is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I just love it. All of it. Because I have to take the good with the bad. So I just choose to love it all. And in those hard moments I think back to these moments that I treasure and then the hard moments just don't seem so hard.
P.S. While I was getting my hair cut today Sean was screaming in his car carrier. Austin went over to him because I was unable to and started to gently rock the carrier and say "sh, sh, sh!" It was so tender and sweet. He was trying to help his brother. How in the world did I get so lucky?
1 comment:
Such a sweet post! Sean is just ADORABLE!! They are both so darn cute!
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